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Bullfrogspad-Ponds-fish-friends » General Chat » General Chat-Join in and speak your mind » Hey ladies, ever been to a dirty bathroom?

Hey ladies, ever been to a dirty bathroom?

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rosebud
bullfrog
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1Hey ladies, ever been to a dirty bathroom? Empty Hey ladies, ever been to a dirty bathroom? Fri Oct 30, 2009 10:41 am

bullfrog

bullfrog
Master Bullshitter
Master Bullshitter

We have all seen it, the toilet from hell. The one that nobody wants to sit on. Well relax, you can now pee standing up just like the big boys. I bought one of these for my wife so she could fish the salt marshes with me. You can't get out of your kayak because you will sink two feet in the mud, so with a plastic water bottle and this little contraption, the problem is solved.

Hey ladies, ever been to a dirty bathroom? Pee

Then you can also do this !!!

Hey ladies, ever been to a dirty bathroom? Standtopee

rosebud

rosebud
Jabberjaws
Jabberjaws

Suuure, that's something I've always aspired to do. :roll:

bullfrog

bullfrog
Master Bullshitter
Master Bullshitter

Umm... you only apply it and hold it into place when you have to go. You didn't see any straps on it, did you? ex[lol]

rosebud

rosebud
Jabberjaws
Jabberjaws

Surely it comes with instructions, huh? :[IMG]/hidelaug

Esther


Chatterbox
Chatterbox

I have a Jane that is something like that. My idea was that when we are camping in our van, I/we don't have to go through the park, in the night, to the restrooms to be be able to relieve ourselves.

Esther


Chatterbox
Chatterbox

Sure there is something you can use. Have you heard of Pampers.

Or you could strap a bag to your leg and to the tube end of the device. My dad has one of those. Not funny.

Guest


Guest

As I am not exactly "ladylike" in dresses and skirts, I say find a bush and squat!

rosebud

rosebud
Jabberjaws
Jabberjaws

Esther I would want something that was lightweight and just sat in there all comfy and then had a tube on it that you could just let out your zippered pants and go in the bushes like the big boys do but it couldn't rash you all up if ya know what I mean. ex[thumbup][/quote]
That would be a catheter! Not very comfortable at all!

Esther


Chatterbox
Chatterbox

Rosebud, that is what I was hinting at when I said my dad had something like that. He's having surgery Nov 4 so hopefully it will solve the problem.

You don't want to know what I used when we were traveling in the van. It was a 1 pound margarine tub. Worked fine and had a cover that fit tight. LOL

Or when we are working on our duplexes and Pete has the plumbing torn apart----uhhuh a 5 gallon drywall mud bucket works just fine. I lined it with a plastic shopping bag for #2 and kept a roll of toilet paper beside it. I tied up the bag tightly and tossed it on the trailer load of trash going to the dump. Fortunately it was quite cool out yet. #1 was washed down the basement floor drain.

bullfrog

bullfrog
Master Bullshitter
Master Bullshitter

This is just another fascinating subject that I have brought up. I'm waiting for Bartender to chime in here.

Freddie Peepers

Freddie Peepers
Minnow
Minnow

I am hanging on every word of this fascinating discussion.

Guest


Guest

I keep my rubber boots handy since Bullfrog has a way with words that cause me to change out of my regular boots in a hurry. lol

bullfrog

bullfrog
Master Bullshitter
Master Bullshitter

actually, even though I really love her, I think that Bubbles raises one leg to pee so that she can mark her spot. Not a shy woman, she is, she will piss where she pleases as long as it sits well with her dainty ladylike ways. Does that make any sense?

Bartender

Bartender
Minnow
Minnow

bullfrog wrote:This is just another fascinating subject that I have brought up. I'm waiting for Bartender to chime in here.

Careful there, Darlin. Wouldn't want ya to throw your arm out from all that patting youself on the back! ex[tongue]

If I'd had one of these issued to me at work, I would NEVER have gotten a break in the last 10 years!! (I know, I still haven't posted a bio yet, but...) I used to dispatch my hospital's medical helicopter. Our office is a small afterthought of a broom closet, and totally ergonomically challenged. The closest restroom was down the hall.

When I sent my flight crew on a mission, I was tethered to the phones and radio until they returned, or I had "qualified" relief. One mission could last anywhere from one hour to several, or occasionally even all day.

It is a wonder that I only passed a kidney stone once over the years, and that my innards (organs for you city folks, LOL)even work at all any more. I had to learn to limit my intake since it is usually directly proportional to my output.

I had heard stories of a couple of guys who had worked there before who would whip it out and use a cup or something. OHHHHH, but HELLLLLLL NOOOOO!! Not this ol' girl!!

Many a time there were jokes made about a catheter and a leg bag, or some Depends!

http://www.marykay.com/andismith/default.aspx

Mikey

Mikey
Minnow
Minnow

When I was a kid, age 13 or so, we were driving to Palm Springs and eventually my foster sister and mom had to take a pee. We were out in the desert and no service stations or other facilities were nearby. So while they were looking for some cactus to hide behind I traipsed off into the desert to see what I could find. I found a neat hole in the ground which I assumed was the den of a fox or some other animal. I crawled into the hole and I next heard a strange noise. It sounded like an air leak from the tire of a car. SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I looked around and saw a little alcove in the side of the wall near my right hand. The heads of several sidewinder rattle snakes who were all coiled up together were looking at me. I briefly froze and then like a flash of lightening I bolted out of that hole.....

What has this got to do with the topic? Absolutely nothing.... But for you ladies, don't squat if you're wearing spurs......

rosebud

rosebud
Jabberjaws
Jabberjaws

And don't squat over a hole if you're out in the desert! :[IMG]/hidelaug

Esther


Chatterbox
Chatterbox

Mikey, that was awful, or could have been anyway.

Guest


Guest

Yep, spurs tend to get a little bit in the way. Be careful.

I have a friend who went to a concert in Austin one year (back in our good old days). Well she had to use the facilities but they were so dirty she decided to go down the hill and find a spot. She told her hubby to watch so no one stumbled upon her in this position. It had been raining and the ground was slippery. She lost her footing, slid down the hill a ways. Hubby got her up, she got her jeans pulled up and later that night she started itching something terrible. She had slid down the hill in a patch of poison ivy. We still laugh about her concert and her sore arse. (Quite possible the Budweiser didn't help any with maintaining her balance.)

Mikey

Mikey
Minnow
Minnow

Well since we're telling some bathroom stories here....

The restrooms in the police department where I worked had three urinals side-by-side. Typically guys will take an outside urinal, with the exception of course being the vice cops who by habit always take the middle urinal.... I think you get the drift.... In any event, one day another cop and I are using the urinals, leaving the middle urinal open, when in swaggers one of our loud and boisterous vice cops who saddles up to the middle urinal where he's right at home.... This big vice cop was very friendly, boisterous and hands on. He slaps me hard on the back as well as the other guy and then starts talking BS to both of us turning first to me and then to the other cop and then back to me and so on. This of course is all happening while we’re trying to do our business. Normally this vice cop is in plain clothes but this day he apparently had been in court and he was wearing a long tie. I then hear the guy in the other outside urinal say to John, the vice cop, "Hey John, you need to pay more attention dude. You just pissed all over your tie." Sure enough, the bottom of John's tie was all wet as were my cheeks due to the tears from my laughing so hard.

Bartender

Bartender
Minnow
Minnow

Mikey wrote:Well since we're telling some bathroom stories here....

The restrooms in the police department where I worked had three urinals side-by-side. Typically guys will take an outside urinal, with the exception of course being the vice cops who by habit always take the middle urinal.... I think you get the drift.... In any event, one day another cop and I are using the urinals, leaving the middle urinal open, when in swaggers one of our loud and boisterous vice cops who saddles up to the middle urinal where he's right at home.... This big vice cop was very friendly, boisterous and hands on. He slaps me hard on the back as well as the other guy and then starts talking BS to both of us turning first to me and then to the other cop and then back to me and so on. This of course is all happening while we’re trying to do our business. Normally this vice cop is in plain clothes but this day he apparently had been in court and he was wearing a long tie. I then hear the guy in the other outside urinal say to John, the vice cop, "Hey John, you need to pay more attention dude. You just pissed all over your tie." Sure enough, the bottom of John's tie was all wet as were my cheeks due to the tears from my laughing so hard.

Hey ladies, ever been to a dirty bathroom? HahaSmiley

http://www.marykay.com/andismith/default.aspx

bullfrog

bullfrog
Master Bullshitter
Master Bullshitter

One cold morning I was going kayak fishing and on the way I had two Whataburger breakfast tacos. I have extremely fast motility whenever I eat greasy bacon and eggs and within twenty minutes or so there had better be a bathroom nearby.

The kayaks that we fish out of are the "sit on top" type. The inside is hollow and there are hatches front and rear to stow the gear. I had my emergency roll of toilet paper in a big ziplock baggie and I hurredly unloaded the kayak and took a flashlight (wasn't dyalight yet) and looked under my bow hatch. It wasn't there and I figured that it had slid back while I loaded the kayak so I ran to the stern hatch and looked there, still no toilet paper.

This was quickly getting very serious so I stood my kayak on it's end and shook it violently trying to dislodge my trapped toilet paper. Still, it wasn't there. Desperate times call for desperate measures and I didn't want to use my hand so I ran to the cab of the truck to find something, anything to use.

There was my toilet paper on the front seat. I'm glad where I launch at is very remote, relief came quickly in the cold morning air... whew!



Last edited by bullfrog on Sun Nov 01, 2009 10:03 am; edited 1 time in total

bullfrog

bullfrog
Master Bullshitter
Master Bullshitter

Mike reminded me of another true potty story. I was working at a car dealership as a service advisor and had to wear a white shirt and a tie to work every day. I went home for "lunch" which back in those days consisted of smoking a joint and rolling another for later that evening.

I went to the bathroom and began to pee and put the other doobie in my shirt pocket. Being a white shirt. I looked in the mirror to see if it was visible and sure enough it was so I put it on top of the toilet. It rolled off of the top and I was finished peeing but hadn't flushed yet. I leaned over to get it and as I stood up I heard what sounded like something fell out of my shirt pocket into the toilet.

I had dipped my tie into the piss filled commode about 6 inches so now I was standing there stoned, leaning over the toilet letting my tie drip when my wife walked up and said "What are you doing" (imagine the look on my face)

"I dipped my tie in the toilet." I replied.

"Why did you do that?" she asked.

"Just get a pair of scissors and come help me."

bullfrog

bullfrog
Master Bullshitter
Master Bullshitter

Why, oh why is a potty topic the hottest topic on the forum? Perhaps it is just something that we can all relate to, bathroom emergencies or perhaps we are all just sick puppies.

rosebud

rosebud
Jabberjaws
Jabberjaws

bullfrog wrote:Why, oh why is a potty topic the hottest topic on the forum? Perhaps it is just something that we can all relate to, bathroom emergencies or perhaps we are all just sick puppies.
Ya know, that thought occured to me too!

bullfrog

bullfrog
Master Bullshitter
Master Bullshitter

I worked in a machine shop with an older fellow. He told me a story about when he had to drive 70 miles to work and 70 miles home. He and a buddy had a fart feud going on. When his buddy had to do it he would walk to Ed's machine, bend over and let it rip, fan it toward him and then walk away. This went back and forth for days. Ed's German mother in law came to visit and made some blood sausage and he liked it and ate a lot.

He drove to work and felt it coming on so he walked to his buddies machine, raised one leg and in his words "I filled up both of my boots." The sound and look on his face was unmistakable and his friend asked him "My God, what have you done?" He tried to clean up but that 70 mile trip home must have been an experience.

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