A Blonde's Year in Review
January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight..
February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels......
Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer !!!
March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....
box said "2-4 years!"
April
Trapped on escalator for hours .... power went out!!!
May
Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of
water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June
Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later,
the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm..... car swamped
because soft-top was open.
September
The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???
October
Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour per
pound and I weigh 108!!
December
Couldn't call 911 . "duh".....there's no "eleven" button
on the stupid phone!!!
THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it, slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.A little later she came out, again went to the mail box, opened it and slammed it shut!
Puzzled by her actions the 5th time she came out to the mail box, the man asked her,"Is something wrong?
To which she replied, "There certainly is!"
"My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"
January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight..
February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels......
Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer !!!
March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....
box said "2-4 years!"
April
Trapped on escalator for hours .... power went out!!!
May
Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of
water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June
Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later,
the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm..... car swamped
because soft-top was open.
September
The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???
October
Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour per
pound and I weigh 108!!
December
Couldn't call 911 . "duh".....there's no "eleven" button
on the stupid phone!!!
THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it, slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.A little later she came out, again went to the mail box, opened it and slammed it shut!
Puzzled by her actions the 5th time she came out to the mail box, the man asked her,"Is something wrong?
To which she replied, "There certainly is!"
"My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"