The blonde mortician

A woman's husband died while he was wearing a nice black suit. She viewed the body and said "He looks nice in that black suit but he looks a lot better in a blue suit."

She gave the mortician a blank check and told her to buy him a nice blue suit regardless of the cost. She came back the next day and sure enough he was wearing a nice blue suit. "He looks just wonderful." she said.

The blonde hands him the check back and she said "Oh no, I must pay you for the suit, it looks very expensive."

"No, it's OK." she said.

"I must pay you for it. I know it cost a lot of money." she went on


"No, really. Another man came in wearing this nice blue suit and his wife wanted him buried wearing a black suit. So I just switched the heads."

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This is a groaner.

That mortician may have been blonde but not a woman. Only a man would have thought to switch the body part. Us women would have been busily trying to switch the suits and stuff the bodies into the ones that didn't fit. Yup, there'd we be with scissors cutting up the back of the jacket and pants and the other one, we'd be pulling the extra loose fabric to the back and tucking it under the body.

When Pete's dad died, we were at the funeral home, picking out the coffin. Dad was a pretty big guy and the undertaker had said he was afraid dad wouldn't fit in a normal size. He had left and gone to the storage area to see if they had any larger ones. After he left, my brother in law wondered if it would cost more. We said, "Of course, anything different costs more." Then he suggested we grease the sides of the regular coffin to get dad in it. In the end we used the regular one and he looked fine. The grease didn't even show. JOKING!!

Esther

That whole story was true except for the last sentence.