One Liners

The economy is
so bad that... I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.


I ordered a
burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked,
"Can you afford fries with that?"
:[IMG]/confused

CEO's are now
playing miniature golf.


If the bank
returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call
them and ask if they meant you or them.


Hot Wheels and
Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.


McDonald's is
selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Parents in
Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their
children's names.

A truckload of
Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

Motel Six won't
leave the light on anymore.

The Mafia is
laying off judges.


Congress says
they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!
The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated
by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!


And,
finally...I was so depressed last night thinking about the
economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement
funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline.
I got a call
center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal,
they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck!